how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
