Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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