you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
