Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
