Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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