Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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