Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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