I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
