Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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