god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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