Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
