Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
