Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
