I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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