She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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