You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
