I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am one with the molecules
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
