The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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