do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
