that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
