would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think people are normalizing furries
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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