Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(785): View more from Kansas

this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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(845): View more from New York

I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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(208): View more from Idaho

He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in

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(845): View more from New York

There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor

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