Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
