My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
