So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
