i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
