How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
