You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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