i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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