Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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