I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
