when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
