I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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