i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
