Where is the hickey?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
