My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
