Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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