last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
