Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
