it was like his penis was on wheels.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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