the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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