Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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