Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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