I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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