I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
