i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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