So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
