They should really pass out barf bags in church
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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