): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
