I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
