Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
